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Someone
has defined the "expert on child-rearing" as the one
who has no children. If that be true — then several weeks ago,
during a series on marriage and the family, a group of young
married "experts" met to study the subject of raising
children. When we began to look at what the Bible has to say on
the subject, it was sobering to learn of the awesome
responsibility God has given the father. Yet, what was even more
sobering was to realize how many fathers are not fulfilling
their responsibility.
In
II Cor. 12:14, Paul refers to the principle that parents are to
provide for the physical needs of their children. However,
caution must be exercised so that this obligation does not
overshadow a much more important responsibility. A third grader
wrote —"Dear Abby, My dad works all the time. He is never
home. He gives me money and lots of toys, but I hardly ever see
him. I love him and wish he would not work all the time so I
could see him more. Signed, Jeff." Too many fathers
emphasize the physical care of their children to the neglect of
spiritual upbringing. Paul admonishes, "And, ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the
chastening and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4).
Spiritual training takes time. Jeff's dad, after reading his
son's letter, wrote —"I realized I was depriving my
family of something far more important (than physical luxuries
— ko), myself and my time … I quit both part-time jobs and
we adjusted our standard of living accordingly ...I have learned
that the greatest gift a man can give his children is himself
and his time."
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The
Psalmist says that "children are a heritage of Jehovah; and
the fruit of the womb is his reward" (Ps. 127:3). It's sad
that some fathers often complain about the burdens, anxiety, and
heartaches associated with their offspring — and they seldom
consider the blessings which are brought about by the same. As
an older preacher told me, "Why, the education alone is
worth the investment. My children have taught me more than I
will ever be able to teach them — they have taught me to be
patient, unselfish, sensitive to others, to live consistently
with what I teach..." With this attitude, fathers can say,
"As the arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the
children of youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of
them" (Ps. 127:4,5).
The
responsibilities of becoming a father are rapidly being placed
upon my shoulders and my thoughts are turning in that direction.
In writing about the relationship of fathers to their children,
I can understand how some fathers would resent a younger man
giving them his opinion on how they should raise
their children (especially if he has no children). In Job 32:6,
Elihu admitted, "I am young and ye are very old"—
yet he went on to say, "the breath of the Almighty
giveth them understanding. It is not the great that are wise,
nor the aged that understand justice." The key in striving
to be the ideal father is to stick with the
ideal. It doesn't take an "expert" to read and
understand God's instructions to the father. May we continue to
encourage each other to follow His will and may He help us all
to be ideal fathers. K. O'Banion
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