I've Been Baptized!

Ten or twelve years back I wrote a poem (?) and published it on this page, and later in a book called (of all things) STUFF ABOUT THINGS. One would think that was enough! But folk continue to ask for copies, and since we are "in a bind" this month, we allow this page to be desecrated, again.

The thoughts came to mind while planning an article on excuses the traditional "Church of Christer" may give when you try to stir him up to serve the Lord. Do not allow its absurdities to detract from its serious purpose. I have heard many of these very statements, in principle; and it is nothing to be "happy" about.

TICKET FER HEAVEN!

Well, I wuz baptized on a cold winter day, They busted thu ice and they pushed it away; And Old Brother Sloakum, thu pioneer, Thu one whut's famous fer being queer, Wuz thu one whut put me under then, And I ain't about to do hit again…

Praise thu Lord!

I bin baptized!!

I'll take me a nip, and a snort er two, And I may be awhoopin' afore I'm through; But I got me a record, and don't you ferget, Hit's good hard proof thet I've been wet....

Praise thu Lord!

I bin baptized!!

When I wuz a boy in Tennessee, Some big-meetin' preachers laid their hands on me; I've set on the knees of Old Brother Tant, And heard more preachin' 'n you can shake a stick at; Hardeman, Nichols, and Old Joe Blue, Has stayed at our house, and they'd tell you....

Praise thu Lord!

He's bin baptized!!

So don't come snoopin' around our place, Disturbin' my coon-hounds, and tellin' Grace 'Bout mendin' our ways, and livin' by the rules; And bringin' our kids to thu Sunday Schools; I got me a Bible, in thu trunk somewheres, And a genuwine record whut's writ in there....

Praise thu Lord!

I bin baptized!!