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 “Faithful
are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are
deceitful” (Prov. 27:6). Compliments do not necessarily
identify friends; criticism does not always come from enemies.
Remember Judas who kissed the Lord — and betrayed him. Some of
the most elaborate, gushing compliments I have ever received
came from my enemies — often closely associated with a sharp
pain in the back where the knife entered! Some of the most
unpleasant, painful, and ego deflating comments about myself and
my work have come from my best friends. An enemy will tell
everyone you have bad breath; a friend might give you a bottle
of scope and suggest you try it. Oh, how criticism hurts! How
awful it makes you feel! But when the pain of a wounded pride
subsides, you realize it was a favor. Ignoring the problem would
never have helped. You would not have your friend to act
otherwise — though it takes a little time to appreciate “the
wound” he inflicted. It is hard to appreciate a dentist while
he is drilling!
Genuine
interest in soul prompts concern in a friend who observes my
path leading away from God. A sharp personal rebuke — ”thou
art the man” (2 Sam. 12: 1-7) — may be necessary to set me
straight. It is better to suffer a momentary wound than eternal
loss. “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you
the truth?”
Yet
a friend finds no pleasure in inflicting such wounds. I
resent the doctor grinning as he probes a sore spot! I know he
must do it, but I do not like to think he enjoys it! It
is all too easy to become a professional and perpetual critic of
everything, and everybody
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— to delight in finding fault. Such is
surely no virtue am evidently rarely profits anyone. An enemy
aims his dart to destroy and to maim; a friend never does that.
Our parents corrected us. The red welts on the “hinder parts”
were not aimed at our destruction but were wounds of love for
our profit.
And
there is the other side of the coin — being a friend. That is
not always easy. Friendship is more than social calls, sharing
meals, and enjoying each other’s companionship. It is caring
enough to do whatever needs to be done — regardless how
utterly distasteful the task may be.
Paul’s
sharp letter of rebuke to the Corinthians was written “out of
much anguish of heart... with many tears..., that ye might know
the love which I have more abundantly toward you” (2 Cor.
2:4). Paul worried about writing the letter and how it would be
received, but he rejoiced when he heard of their repentance (2
Cor. 7:6-). His attitude and actions proved him to be a friend.
Why
do you suppose we often excuse ourselves from all attempts to
restore the lost (Gal. 6:1). We know we should; we know it would
be a kindness. It is NOT easy! Why do we not reason with our
neighbors who are not Christians? We claim to be a friend but we
ignore their greatest need — salvation from sin. We dread
saying, “I fear you are going to be lost.” We keep quiet and
let them go undisturbed to hell. With friends like us they don’t
need enemies. Joe Fitch
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