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 BULLETIN
TO ALL EMPLOYEES!
Subject:
Death of Employees.
It
has been brought to our attention that many employees are dying
and refusing to fall over after they are dead. THIS MUST STOP!
On
and after this date, any employee found standing up after he has
died will be dropped from the payroll within 90 days. When it
can be proved that the employee is being supported by a
productive past, an additional 90 days will be granted.
If,
after several hours, it is noticed that an employee has not
moved or changed positions, the supervisor will investigate.
Because of the highly sensitive nature of our employees, and the
close resemblance between death and their natural working
attitude, the investigation will be made quietly, so as not to
disturb the employee if he is just sleeping.
Supervisors
Please Note!
If
some doubt exists as to the true
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condition of the employee, extending a pay
envelope is a fine test. If the employee does not reach for the
envelope, it may be assumed that he is dead. In some cases the
instinct is so strongly developed, however, that a spasmodic
clutch or reflex motion may be encountered.
The
above was seen in the office of a Fresno, Calif. business man.
Our
first impression was that of amazement — that this ancient
malady, the standing dead, had propagated its virus throughout
the centuries since Sardis (Rev. 3:l), and had spread from the
church into the business world. Then, upon reflection, we
realized that the disease originated in the world — was of the
world — and that it was with the germs of worldliness that
ancient Sardis had been afflicted. Oh, what a damning plague!
The
WILL to live for Christ has always been a necessary part of the
cure for the spiritual malady; and the Great Physician offers
the only successful remedy. (Lu. 19:10)
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