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 Dear
bro. Turner:
Should
a Christian abstain from marriage to a non-Christian if it is
offensive to their brethren?”
L.L.
Reply:
The
above question, word for word, came through the mail. If it
means what it says, the querist is a most unusual person — on
two counts. One who would determine a marriage by the effect it
may have on the brethren — I have never before heard of that;
and then, one who seems to attach greater significance to the
feelings of the brethren than to the effect such a marriage
could have upon their own immortal soul. This surely deserves
attention.
“Causing
a brother to offend” (in 1 Cor. 8:13, K. J.) refers to doing
something that would lead a brother to sin. (“stumble” A.S.)
It does not refer to the brother’s feelings, nor does it
justify babying a brother who wears his feelings on his sleeve.
We should consider people’s feelings, but this passage
has a different aim. It was not wrong, per se, to eat the meat
under consideration in 1 Cor. 8.:, but if eaten as having “joint-
participation” with idol worshippers, it was very wrong. (1
Cor. 10:14-31) So, brethren were urged not to do anything, even
though right within itself, that might encourage one weak in
understanding to sin. (1 Cor. 8:1-f)
The
far more likely problem of the querist — seemingly
unrecognized — is the unasked question: ”Should a
Christian marry a non-Christian?” The answer must
recognize the authoritative nature of God’s word, whether or
not it is “offensive” to
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brethren. Please read it slowly and
carefully.
I
believe 2 Cor. 6:14-f. forbids the establishment of a “sharing”
relationship in which the Christian would have to participate,
be a party to, encourage, or work as a team-mate in that which
is wrong. This could be a business, social, civil, or domestic
relation — or any other. Now get what I said! One may
“do business” with a sinner (1 Cor. 5:9-f) and not be a “partner”
in the sin.
If
the marriage contemplated involves a compromise in worship or
service to God, it is wrong. If it means accepting obligations
that are contrary to God’s will; or denying obligations God
has given (such as the proper rearing of children) it is wrong.
If it means putting anything before God, it is wrong. (Lu.
14:26-f) And the Christian already in such a position must “come
out from among them” (2 Cor. 6:17; See 1 Cor. 7:12-17) in
order to be acceptable unto God.
The
solution to particular details after one is involved in
intolerable marriage situations can become very sticky indeed.
What God says, and the basic principles involved, seem clear
enough for any honest student. But it is not so easy to know the
hearts of people; and the judging of practices in marriage
relations can tax a Solomon, and tear hearts to shreds.
BEFORE
the marriage vows are made, and the contract consummated —
that, is the time to consider these matters. And this choice is
too serious to be left to the “feelings” of brethren.
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